Titanic is a boat. In 3D
Jack and Rose meet and fall in love on the boat. In 3D.
The boat sinks, Jack dies and Rose grows old and bitter and then throws millions of dollars worth of jewels into the ocean instead of donating them to a museum or some worthy cause or anything else better than throwing millions of dollars worth of jewels into the ocean. In 3D.
Celine Dion sings a horrible song. The End. In 3D.