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12 Things That Might/Could/Should Happen The Rest of “Game of Thrones” Season 6

Written by Lem Utu

I’M JUST GUESSING BUT IF I’M RIGHT, THESE ARE SPOILERS:

Bronn_jaime1. Jamie and Bronn join the North after Brienne catches him up and when Lady Stoneheart reveals herself at Riverrun. The White Walkers story holds weight when Jamie sees Catelyn again and Jon’s Wildling Army convinces him further. Also, Wun Wun.

Sansa2. Sansa gets all sassy with the minor Northern lords but they follow Ned’s daughter because “the North Remembers”. Also, her army has a giant.

 

Arya_Stark_GoT3. Arya takes down the Waif in the Main Event and leaves the House of Black and White a trained killer. Jacqen H’gar says something vague about destiny and changes his face again. She heads for King’s Landing and finds Nymeria at the head of a pack of Direwolves.

the-hound

4. The Trial by Combat will be the Clegane Bowl as the Hound returns as a pious but still lethal member of the Faith Militant to take down Zombie Mountain. The Ghost of Oberyn Martell appears before the Mountain goes down but has no face.

5. Nobody gives a fuck about Dorne.

Theon6. Theon and Yara get to Dany before Euron (he’s still chopping down trees for boats for fucks sake) and provide 1,000 ships. Dany and Yara get down because we haven’t had a girl/girl scene in forever.

 

got_winterfell7. Winterfell is recovered by Jon, Jamie, The Blackfish, the Wildlings and every fucking man left in the North and Ramsay get’s what’s coming to him from Sansa. This needs to happen.

 

cersei8. Cersei on the run after the Clegane Bowl. Someone helps her but we’re not sure who. It will be one of those lame Sandsnakes from Dorne in disguise in an attempt to make us care about Dorne again.

 

danerys on dragon9. Everyone in the north heads for King’s Landing and arrive as a huge fleet of ships appears off shore. There are three dragons flying above it, two being ridden by Dany and Tyrion.

 

bran-stark10. Bran and Uncle Coldhands bum everybody out when they show up and tell everyone that the Night King is coming and drop some undead proof in front of the crowd so they can watch them get back up and do zombie things.

night king11. The Night King is at The Wall with his million zombie army. Dolorous Edd’s facial expressions do not change one bit. The Night King does that “Come at me, bro” pose again. Frightening shit happens.

 

hodor hold the door12. Hodor wakes up to find Osha in the shower and this has all been a horrible dream. Season 7 is Hodor and Osha living in the suburbs of King’s Landing where he’s a delivery driver for the local package service and she’s a sassy secretary for the Faith Militant. Hijinks ensue. Bronn and Jamie are his work besties and Tyrion is his overbearing yet lovable boss. Tormund and Brienne are the wacky next door neighbors with their overgrown son, Wun Wun. Wun Wun has 3 pet dragons that are constantly burning shit down. Dany is the sexy neighbor who helps out with cranky Uncle Tywin who spends all of his time reading in the bathroom. Dorne is still a thing nobody gives a fuck about.

 

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Lem Utu

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