Down the Road Show » TV

“Game of Thrones”: Season 3, Ep. 4

Lemzilla — Mon, 06 May 2013 21:02:57 +0000

“And Now His Watch is Ended.”

*Some Spoilers Ahead*

We begin with the Kingslayer bound and astride a horse with his now detached right hanging uselessly around his neck while Brienne pleads with Locke that Jamie is in bad sorts. The party stops to parch his throat but not before offering him a bag full of horse piss that Jamie swallows most of before realizing it wasn’t water. He spots an opening and grabs a sword but he’s far too weak to put up any real fight much less with his off, no pun intended, hand. Humbled again, reminds Jamie that he has another hand to lose if he continues to resist. In King’s Landing, WELCOME BACK, LORD VARYS! The Spider takes front and center as Tyrion has come to seek proof of who planned his murder during the Battle of Blackwater Bay. Varys says he can’t prove anything with whispers and implies that trying to is futile. While doing so he tells Tyrion the story of how be came to be a eunuch and how it led him to the Small Council. It’s a revenge story and the mild mannered Varys builds it slowly and it simmers before the Spider turns down the heat and finishes with a chilling reveal. Tyrion is suitably impressed in a horrified sort of way. He’s also comfortably reassured when Varys tells him his own revenge is just a matter of patience.

North of the Wall, the surviving brothers of the Night’s Watch are shoveling shit, among other things, for the lecherous Craster as payment for his meager lodgings and horrible food. The ever complaining Rast sounds ready to desert and look out for himself while Sam is still moon-eyed over Gilly. The new mother has no time for that as she fears for her doomed son at Craster’s hand. Bran is dreaming of the three-eyed raven again and having some Mommy issues as well. That’s about all we get from the Baby Starks this week. Varys gets the lowdown from Ros on Poderick’s apparently indescribable skills in the bedroom and it’s the Spider’s turn to be impressed. Ros also points out a packing list for Littlefinger’s trip to the Lady Arryn’s keep that has the gears in Lord Varys’ head turning furiously.

King Joffrey is giving a tour of the castle to Margaery gleefully pointing out where all the dead Targaryen’s are buried while continuing to sport the Most Punchable Face in Westoros. Cersei and Lady Olenna are planning the Royal Wedding when the Queen Regent tries to inject herself into relevance with her boy King. Margaery easily deflects her attempt and continues to lead Joffrey where she wants and it ends in a place that sends chills down Cersei’s spine. Meanwhile, in the woods, Theon is being fucked with in a really serious way. I won’t spoil that fun for you. Varys is busy this episode as he turns up at Lady Olenna’s side and they walk while discussing Sansa’s near future and it’s impact on the future of King’s Landing.

Back at Craster’s, Lord Commander Jeor Mormont presides over the fiery memorial of a dead Ranger. but the seams are starting to show on the loosening moral fabric of the surviving brothers and things soon erupt into wild melee that is dramatically shifts the adventure beyond the Wall into overdrive. The Brotherhood without Banners have reached their Batcave and are led by Lord Beric Dondarrion and the trial of the Hound begins. Due to a lack of evidence, the Hound is sentenced to Trial by Combat with Lord Beric. But not before he sets the Brotherhood straight on the distinctions between himself and the Mountain and his similarity to themselves. He makes a compelling case.

We conclude in Astapor and the exchange of Daenerys dragon for the 8,000 Unsullied. Kraznys is his usual douchebag self even as he takes possession of his flying fiery charge. As Dany takes the golden whip from the slavemaster and consummates the sale, the first big reveal (for non-book readers anyway) of Season 3 takes place and it is spectacular. DANY SPEAKS VALYRIAN!!! Damn right shit gets real. I’ll just let you watch it for yourself but it’s the most satisfying part of the season when the Khaleesi gives her first orders. This just keeps getting better.

GRADE: A

Lem Utu

Associate Producer

Follow me on Twitter @Lemzilla

“Game of Thrones: Season 3, Ep. 3

Lemzilla — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 02:13:23 +0000

“Walk of Punishment”

*Some spoilers ahead*

It begins with the funeral of Lord Hoster Tully, Robb’s maternal grandfather and a comical attempt at a Viking-ish memorial. Followed by a dressing down of Robb’s uncle Edmure Tully, for tactical errors that cost him a chance at putting the Mountain’s head on a spike. Quickly moving back to King’s Landing, a meeting of the re-formed Small Council presents new but unwanted opportunities for Tyrion. Jamie and Brienne are tied back to back on a horse and continue their delightful dialog. Brienne is taken aback by the Kingslayer’s advice on how to survive the gang rape he is sure to come once their captors stop to camp. She also gives a harsh review of Jamie’s lauded fighting skills.

Meanwhile the Brotherhood without Banners prepares to turn in the Hound for what bounty he is sure to bring. Arya and Gendry are set to join when Hot Pie announces he’s staying to become a baker for the innkeeper. A surprisingly tender good by between Arya and her former tormentor ensues. One wonders if Hot Pie wouldn’t have been safer tagging along. His final piece of advice to his departing comrades is, “Don’t get stabbed.”

The Army Beyond the Wall arrives at the Fist of the First Men to find the remnants of the White Walkers encounter with the Night’s Watch. The Walkers leave the scene with a flourish unexpected of undead walking corpses. Dismembered horses are arranged in a complex pattern too precise to be random. When Ygritte notices there are no bodies from the Night’s Watch, Orell swears his eagle saw them when he last scouted the area. Mance Rayder knows what has become of them and sends Tormund Giantsbane with a squad including Jon Snow to breach the Wall and await his signal. Which will be “the biggest fire the North has ever seen.”

The surviving Crows bivouac with the monstrous Craster and are forced to accept his awful brand of hospitality, although the Lord Commander seems less inclined to be polite as before. Sam’s crush Gilly can be heard in the background screaming as Craster’s latest progeny is born. She is horrified to see that she’s given birth to a son. Back at an undisclosed location, Theon is set free (presumably but since this is GoT we can’t really be sure) by one of Yara’s men and instructed to ride east and she will meet him.

Daenerys is still conflicted about hiring a slave army and Barristan Selmy is solidly against it. Ser Jorah Mormont has a more practical take but both are stunned with the Khaleesi offers up one of her dragons to pay for the army of 8,000 Unsullied. When the men council her against it in front of Kraznys, Dany sets them straight once out of sight. The Targaryen blood is rising in her and we begin to see the Mother of Dragons ascend to a mental plane equal to her title. The lady has plans.

Littlefinger transfers the books to the new Master of Coin along with a tired joke about how to survive the position. He also suggests that Tyrion reward his squire, Podrick, for his timely service in the Battle of Blackwater Bay. The Imp has a better idea how to reward his charge and the three lovely ladies representing said reward have the young lad speechless. A quick look at the finances of the kingdom reveals that Littlefinger has King’s Landing leveraged to the hilt. A brief explanation to Bronn about how loans work concludes when Tyrion reveals what will happen when they can’t pay the loan back. The people they owe “will fund our enemies. One way or another, they will get their gold.”

Concluding in the camp of Roose Bolton’s best hunter, Locke, Jamie seems perturbed when Brienne is taken to the aforementioned rape he predicted. In an uncharacteristic turn, Jamie lies to Locke that the Lord Selwyn Tarth would pay Brienne’s weight in sapphires to get her back with her honor “unbesmirched”. Brienne is saved and Locke inquires as to what Tywin would pay for Jamie’s release. Jamie gives his usual speech about gold, lands and titles. Just when it seems that Locke is on board with dealing the Kingslayer, he takes a sudden, sharp and ruthless tack and Jamie realizes that his gambit has failed. This exchange changes Jamie’s life forever and how he deals with it in the future will be fascinating to watch.

Season 3 is building faster and moving more smoothly from one episode to another in a way the first eight episodes of Season 2 did not. It seems almost unreasonable to hope for the same impact Season 2 finished with but all signs point to much bigger things to come in the near future. This is outstanding television bordering on inimitable.

GRADE: A

Lem Utu

Associate Producer

Follow me on Twitter @Lemzilla

Game of Thrones: Season 3, Ep. 2

Lemzilla — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 22:43:06 +0000

“Dark Wings, Dark Words”

*Some spoilers ahead*

Episode 2 begins with Bran dreaming, recalling archery lessons under Ned’s watchful and his brother’s snickering eyes. When he draws down on the three-eyed raven in his dream, a boy appears and tells him tells him why he can’t kill it. More on Dream Boy later. Osha is not as eager to help Bran divine the meaning of his dreams as she’d been before. In Harrenhal, Robb’s lead bannerman, Roose Bolton, presents news from Riverrun and Winterfell. We learn that Catelyn’s father has died and Robb learns what happened to the family keep. Plans are made to march his unsatisfied army to Riverrun for the funeral and join up with more men from the House Tully side of his family. A quick peek in on a bound and hooded figure reveals Theon in a panic that turns to terror when people start poking him with things.

Brienne and Jamie continue their trek to King’s Landing, inefficiently as Jamie points out, through the mud and back roads. When they come upon a peddler also keeping off the King’s Road, pleasantries are exchanged but the Kingslayer goads Brienne that the man recognized them and he’ll tell the first guardsmen he sees. Brienne refuses to run him down and kill him but it takes her a minute longer to make that decision than comfortable really. In King’s Landing, Joffrey is being fitted by a tailor while being quizzed by Cersei as to his feelings about Margaery. The Boy King quickly turns the tables and stuns Cersei with the sudden realization that she has zero influence on her son and by extension, affairs of court. She does her best to shield the world from this but her face betrays her and we know her heart just dropped to the floor. Elsewhere in the castle, Shae is attending Sansa and following Ros advice of keeping tabs on Littlefinger in regards to the former Queen. She counsels that if he tries to touch her, she should say “No” and if he doesn’t stop to tell her. When Sansa asks what Shae would do about it, our favorite harlot simply says “I will make him stop.” No. Doubt.

But first Sansa is a guest of the Lady Olenna Redwyne, Grand Dame of the House Tyrell, and her granddaughter, Margaery. Lady Olenna is known as “The Queen of Thorns” for the loose cannon that serves as her piehole. Pleasantries are dispensed with quickly before Mrs. Peel gets down to the nitty-gritty. She wants dirt on Joffrey and Sansa is at first resistant. But when Margaery and grandma double team her, “He’s a monster” spills from Sansa’s lips and a deluge of his horrific behavior flows forth. Alarmed at what she has let slip, Olenna assures her that nothing will change and Margaery’s wedding will take place. It’s not hard to believe that armed with this knowledge, the women of House Tyrell will enter into the union suitably prepared to accept any challenge Joffrey might present. Personally, I think the kid is screwed especially if Mommy isn’t around to watch his back.

On the road to River Run, Lord Karstark vents his spleen to the King of the North and accuses Robb of losing the war when he married Talisa. Breaking a vow to Walder Frey is widely regarded as unwise. Catelyn admits to Talisa she is the worst woman ever and re-tells her horrible treatment of Jon Snow. I would normally agree that Catelyn is the worst woman ever except I’ve seen Lori Grimes in action. Lori Grimes is the worst woman ever. Period. Anyhoo. Beyond the Wall, Mance Rayder and his merry band continue their southbound trek and Jon Snow is learning quickly that the tribes beyond the Wall are many and varied. So how did Mance get 90 clans, half warring with the other and that speak seven different languages, to march united behind him and head south? “I told them they’d all die here if they didn’t. And that’s the truth.”

They meet up with their advance scout, a “warg” able to see through an animals eye, in this case a raven. When Mance asks where he was and what he saw, the reply is “The Fist of the Firstmen. And dead Crows.” Jon Snow is impressively nonplussed at the news, building credibility in the Army Beyond the Wall. Meanwhile, the Crow’s that didn’t get killed by White Walkers continue to slog their way south when Samwell Tarly (shocking) falls out after being pummeled with insults about his uselessness by his nemesis, Rast. Lord Commander Jeor Mormont wants to know what all the kerfuffle is about and when informed, gives two orders:

1. “Tarly, I forbid you to die.”

2. “Rast, you’re responsible for him. Make sure he gets back alive. If he doesn’t, you don’t.”

And that’s why he’s Lord Commander.

Osha and the Baby Starks are taken by surprise by Jojen Reed (Dream Boy!) and his bodyguard sister, Meera. When Jojen walks up to Bran’s Direwolf, Summer, and isn’t immediately torn to shreds we hope that means the Reed’s are friendly. This is further burnished when Jojen informs Bran that he is a warg and that’s why he can see through the eyes of Summer. Bran begins to swell when told he also possesses sight that allows him to see past, present and future events but needs to learn how to control these gifts. Whoever the Reed’s are they’ve been looking for Bran for a long time. Finally catching up with Arya, Gendry and Hot Pie, the trio are trying to make their way to friendly territory when set upon by the Brothers without Banners. Of course, Arya gets all butch and tells them if they leave politely she’ll let them live. Thoros of Myr is unimpressed but curious. He offers that if the trio break bread with them and explain how they escaped Harrenhal, they would be free to leave after.

Tyrion returns to his upgraded quarters to find Shae and is nearly apoplectic knowing what his douchebag father would do if he knew she was there. Shae is comically dismissive of Tywin’s threat and entreats her lion to intervene on Sansa’s behalf regarding Littlefinger. It brings to light Tyrion’s previous encounters with Ros and Shae is surprisingly territorial considering her former occupation. Or she’s just pushing buttons on the Hero of Blackwater Bay and using it to her advantage. Nothing a former hooker would do right? Back to the King’s bedroom, Joffrey is showing off his new crossbow while Margaery begins weaving her web around him. The poor dumb schmuck will never see this coming, I think. Another quick peek in at Theon being tortured ends with a mysterious boy whispering that his sister sent him and that he’ll be free soon.

We’re back in an ale house with Thoros of Myr and the Three Amigos of Westeros sharing a meal with the kids still being non-specific about their escape. Arya pulls a sword to further deflect from the truth but it’s not her Needle so the display is cut short quickly. When a masked man is brought into the tavern in chains, he’s revealed to be The Hound and before that surprise if fully comprehended Clegane spots Arya and calls out to Thoros, “What in Seven Hells are you doing with the Stark bitch?” Well, that was a mood changer. To be continued. We conclude with Brienne and Jamie having to cross a very visible bridge to get past a river. Jamie is successful in grabbing Brienne’s second sword (“I’ve never understood why some knights felt the need to carry two swords.”) and engaging in the fight we’ve all wanted to see. Granted, his hands are still manacled but as the self-proclaimed greatest swordsman in the realm he expects to make quick work of Brienne the Beauty.

Not so much. After a fun little dance, Brienne takes him down but then bannermen (Roose Bolton’s bastard? I’m unclear on this) of Robb Stark arrive with the aforementioned peddler in tow. Once the Kingslayer is properly identified, Jamie makes the move he always makes at this point “My father will pay you whatever you want if you let me go.” The bannerman responds “Enough to buy me a new head?” and they move forward to march Jamie to his fate. We had a full plate in episode 2 and as always in “Game of Thrones”, some people had to sit out. This weeks DNP (Did Not Play) list includes the Targaryen’s, the Baratheon’s and Lord Varys. “Game of Thrones” continues to barrel forward using the momentum gained since the “Blackwater” episode in Season 2. Where we go in the next few weeks should inform both this and Season 4 as both are taken from the third book in George R. R. Martin’s series, “A Storm of Swords”. The show’s current pace is thrilling and leaving fans voracious for the 6 days between airings. That’s when you know you’ve got a solid gold winner, right there.

GRADE: A

Lem Utu

Associate Producer

Follow me on Twitter @Lemzilla

“Game of Thrones” Season 3, Ep. 1

Lemzilla — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 07:28:08 +0000

“Valar Dohaeris”

*SOME SPOILERS AHEAD*

Season 3 kicks off beyond the Wall as Samwell Tarly scrambles to rejoin his brothers of the Nights Watch after witnessing the invasion of the White Walkers that closed out Season 2. He’s unsurprisingly clumsy in his attempt and quickly set upon by one of the previously mentioned Walkers. A welcome appearance by a fan favorite saves the day but Sam gets his ass chewed out by Lord Jeor Mormont for failing to do his only job: send ravens to the Wall with a heads up about the Walkers. This forces the Nights Watch to double-time march back to the Wall in hopes of slowing down the zombies before they bust through to southern civilization. Shifting over to Jon Snow’s part of the saga beyond the Wall, the Bastard meets Mance Rayder and rather flimsily convinces him he’s ready to ditch his black cloak, fight along side the Wildlings and maybe have sex with a girl.

Back in King’s Landing, the Queen Regent pays a visit to her overly cautious little brother to discuss what he’ll tell their father when the Hero of Blackwater Bay finally gets debriefed. When at first, reluctant to even open the door, Cersei comforts him somewhat with “If I wanted to kill you, would I let a wooden door stop me?” Some delicious banter between the siblings concludes with:

Cersei – “You’re a clever man. But not half as clever as you think you are.”

Tyrion – “That still makes me more clever than you.”

The previously summoned and newly knighted “Sir Bronn of Blackwater” arrives and negotiates new terms for his bodyguard services as Tyrion insists he spend more of his time in much closer proximity.

Meanwhile, Davos Seaworth has washed up on a rocky outcropping and is conveniently rescued by the only Not-Locked-in-a-Vault-in-Qarth-and-Presumed-Dead black character from Season 2 (RIP Xaro Xhoan Daxos). Salladhor Saan is happy to see his old smuggling buddy but is dead against Ser Davos’ plan to return to Stannis Baratheon and try to mute the influence the Red Witch, Melisandre, has on the One True King. This goes about as well as you’d expect.

Robb Stark arrives at Harrenhal, frustrated to find it abandoned and littered with corpses left by “The Mountain”, Gregor Clegane. The dead are bannermen of Catelyn Stark’s father and thus more to be tallied under Robb’s war ledger. Cat is still being treated as a prisoner despite the Lady Talisa’s admonishments.

Tyrion’s sit-down with Tywin turns into another glaring example of how Tywin Lannister is a horrible person. A cruel and spiteful rundown of the Lannister patriarch’s true feelings toward his youngest son is a painful thing to watch and listen to. Each verbal discharge lands its mark as Peter Dinklage soaks them up and sells the beating like the best WWE jobber. That would be this man, by the way. Tyrion shuffles off to an uncertain future in the opening stanza of Season 3.

A brief visit with Sansa and Shae is a stage for a Littlefinger intervention, where the Conniving One promises a way out of King’s Landing. The caveat is that Sansa must be ready to leave at a moments notice. Ros, Littlefinger’s madame, knowingly counsels Shae that Littlefinger is to be watched and not trusted where Sansa is concerned. Shae reassures Ros that her vigilance is constant.

King Joffrey leads a litter-borne caravan through the streets of Flea Bottom when his new Queen-to-be, Margaery, suddenly stops to walk the streets. From safely inside his guarded litter, Joffrey observes his future wife trod through human waste to some unknown location. Turns out Margaery is doing some heavy PR work for her betrothed and supporting an orphanage made up of children who’s fathers perished in the Battle of Blackwater Bay. This immediately raises the Queen Mother’s BS detector at dinner and when Joffrey supports Margaery’s efforts, Cersei’s disdain is barely hidden.

We catch up with Daenerys Targaryen and the loyal Jorah Mormont at sea and her dragons are the size of Labradors now instead of house cats. They also have an entertaining way of feeding themselves in the ocean. Let’s just say, dragons aren’t big on sushi. But they are still too small to use as effective weapons so she has anchored her seasick Dothraki horde in Slaver’s Bay and disembarks in Astapor to inspect prospective soldiers for her army. She is less than thrilled that the soldiers are all slaves but “The Unsullied” are legendary fighters and make Spartans look like undisciplined Girl Scouts. After brutal training that begins at age five, a slave’s final entry exam to become “Unsullied” is killing a baby while still in its mother’s arms. Daenerys is quietly appalled that her army came at a cost of more than 8,000 infant children. An assassination attempt by an adorable little street urchin quickly snaps her out of it as another blast from the past steps in to save the Khaleesi. Reunited with the Captain of her father’s guard, Daenerys seems to recognize the closer she gets to the Iron Throne, the more perilous life will become and she needs to step up her game if she is to survive long enough to sit in it.

And just like that, “Valar Dohaeris” was over. Season 3 smoothly connects the dangling threads of Season 2 and the weaving plotlines are beginning to form patterns without giving away the whole tapestry. Case in point: As much ground as was covered in “Valar Dohaeris”, we have no idea and fewer hints as to where Arya, Gendry, Hotpie, Brienne, Jamie or Theon, Osha, Hodor and the Baby Starks are. Maybe not even the gods can know what the inscrutable Lord Varys is up to.

“Game of Thrones” continues to be HBO’s 800lb Gorilla that can sit anywhere it wants to, eat your Cheetos and wipe its hands all over your couch. And you will continue to like it.

GRADE: B+

Lem Utu

Associate Producer

Follow me on Twitter @Lemzilla

Netflix Bets The House: “House of Cards” Season 1

Lemzilla — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 05:20:40 +0000

Oh Netflix. You so crazy. Premiering David Fincher’s “House of Cards“, and making all 13 episodes of Season 1 available for binge-viewing right out of the gate? This is a bold gauntlet thrown down by The Little Red Envelope That Ate Streaming Video. By acknowledging the emerging preference for series viewing, Netflix has positioned itself as the go-to-service for the impatient content consumer. I’m not sure what release plans are for Season 2 but if this moves the subscriber needle in any significant way, Netflix may be showing us the future. It bears close watching.

Outbidding HBO, Showtime and the rest for “House of Cards” cost Netflix an estimated $100 million or more. 26 episodes of Kevin Spacey don’t come cheap. But putting out the money for original programming coupled with a daring release strategy could spur Netflix to new and unknown heights in viewership. Especially if the quality of programming meet or exceed the standard set by “House of Cards”. It begins with an accident and a mercy killing by a Fourth-Wall breaking Kevin Spacey as Congressional Majority Whip, Frank Underwood (D) South Carolina.

It serves as a quick tutorial in Frank’s pragmatic ruthlessness and the extremity to which it can be applied. Once informed, the audience is witness to his betrayal by the newly elected White House as the administration reneges on a promise to install Frank as the new Secretary of State. The President-elect has decided that Frank’s political capital is far better spent in Congress than earning Hillary-esque frequent flyer miles as SecState. The look Spacey adorns Frank’s face with upon processing this news is eerie cool and malevolent simultaneously. And with that, “House of Cards”, sinks deep roots in the viewers mind as thoughts of unholy retribution administered by Kevin Spacey begin to form.

Frank is aided and abetted in his endeavors by his proto-DC Housewife, Claire. A sharp and elegant Robin Wright portrays Claire Underwood as a stylish and connected player in the halls of power and far, far more than mere arm candy for Frank. She has her charitable foundation to fill her days and is Frank’s most stalwart supporter the rest of the time. Scenes between Wright and Spacey that involve nothing more than sitting on a window sill smoking are natural and evoke a long-standing couple completely at ease with each other. They also have a downside in that these scenes make smoking look really cool again. The easily influenced might want to look away.

The rest of the cast ( featuring Kate Mara, Michael Kelly, Sakina Jaffrey, Constance Zimmer and an outstanding Corey Stoll) are solid players in what is clearly Spacey’s sandbox but carry their water smartly and efficiently as Frank begins to pave the road to his redemption. “House of Cards” keeps a lot of balls in the air while riding a unicycle over a tightrope at times but the looming specter of Spacey creates the gravity that holds it all coherently together. Netflix’s decision to stream all of Season 1 also colors the viewing experience. You don’t necessarily view each episode purely on it’s own merits but as part of the larger picture you have instant access to. It’s like collecting comic book story arcs in a trade paperback. The immediacy of the story is accented by the fact you didn’t have to wait months between issues.

Another plus learned over 13 episodes: No Gratuitous Nudity. I’m not a prude and I like looking at nude women. But HBO and Showtime’s habit of bodice ripping, boob floppery for the flimsiest of reasons got old really fast. 13 episodes in and “House of Cards” gives you one shot of Kate Mara’s butt, a little side boob and one perfect-in-context shot of nipples (the character was a stripper in a strip club). Honestly, I thought for sure “House of Cards” would play the “We’re a Pay Service So We Can Show Boobs Whenever” card. I was pleasantly surprised to be wrong.

Overall, I found “House of Cards” to be a smart, sexy and compelling show with a few awkward moments (Claire Underwood gives the most inappropriate handjob ever) and lots of great dialog recited by the American treasure that is Kevin Spacey. The man delivers more punch in a sideways glance than lesser actors can with full Mamet script behind them. “House of Cards” Season 1 was an enjoyable romp with a great actor, supported by a large cast of very good ones and a sharp script. I eagerly await the announcement for Season 2 and how it will be delivered. I’m all for the binge release format again.

Grade: B+

Lem Utu

Associate Producer

Follow @Lemzilla on Twitter

So You Wanna Be a Writer / Director

KC Murdock — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 02:38:06 +0000

Starting with “Terminator 2: Judgement Day” the movie industry at large has become increasingly gun shy about making movies from “unknown” writers and directors. The reason for this is simple. Your idea sucks.

But does it really? Maybe. Maybe not. You probably wont ever know. To this industry at large “unknown” equals “unreliable box office returns” and thats not good for anyone. If that movie flops, the intern that read your idea (script or synopsis) is not asked back to their job, the junior exec that scheduled countless meetings with you (to make sure that your unreliable idea is, in fact, reliable) is fired, the senior exec is chastised, and the department head has his judgement questioned (which is the kiss of death for a department head). Its these consequences that have spurred the growing number of sequels and prequels; these executives are scared to give your idea a shot because they would rather spend $100M on Shrek 12 and make $145M than give some unknown a budget of $15M to possibly break even at best. Breaking even is a loss in Hollywood. Always has been, always will be. Heres how the selection process works in Hollywood. Hopefully you gain some insight as to what has to happen before your optioned.

When you first submit an idea to a production company an intern may or may not read it. IF they read it and IF they like it, they shoot it off to their direct overseer; the aforementioned Jr. Executive. The Jr Exec (or Creative Executive) will read a synopsis of your story and characters called “Coverage” If the Jr. Exec. likes the coverage the intern wrote, the Jr Exec. asks the intern to take a coffee meeting with you. When the intern calls you up and invites you to coffee you say no. Politely. You want to talk to the person whose job it is to talk to people like you, the Jr. Exec. Heres the hard part. You wait…and wait……….and wait. When that Jr. Exec calls you back, you’re invited to coffee with them. You accept and meet for coffee.

This meeting is essentially a blind date and should be approached as such. Dont be overly confident, be respectful and above all else, DONT SOUND DESPERATE. You are not only selling your idea here, instead you are selling yourself. In reality, you dont do much discussing of the work in question, its more a discussion of you as a writer “Why did you get into writing?”, “What are your major literary influences?”, “Who would you liken your style to?”, “What story is most indicative of you as a person?” You end the coffee, like you would a blind date, with promises of correspondence in one form or another.

Heres where things get weird(er). The content of your story is conversely proportionate to how well you are liked by this Jr. Exec. If your a pompous ass to this Jr. Exec your work has to be that much better than if you start your relationship off on a good foot with this person. So be a nice person. It makes thing easier on all fronts.

When said Jr. Exec calls you back he will ask you to their office for a meeting. This is where story discussions happen. In this meeting, the Jr Exec., their assistant, and (if they are lucky enough) the intern will sit down with you. These people will go over how much they hate your story. They will ask you to justify every motivation behind every character and then tell you how they would have written it. You will leave this meeting you will feel dejected and like you may as well quit trying.

Just when youre crawling out of the highest window of the closest skyscraper you can find with intentions of ending it all because everyone has realized your worst fear: that you idea sucks, your cell phone rings. As your being talked off the ledge by the person on the other end, you realize youre talking to the president of the production company youve been dealing with. He wants to meet with you about your idea.

Keep in mind that this meeting is with the logistical mind behind the creative asset that started the company. He will want to know everything. He will have talked to everyone who has had anything to do with this idea since it came to the company. He will have talked to his partner / boss (who is more than likely the person with the name at the company youve submitted to). If youre lucky, that name will sit in on that meeting with you. This is the first meeting where you have to actually pay attention. This is where the creative direction of your project is formed. You discuss everything from possible sequels (for a screenplay) or future seasons (if its a teleplay), to overall feeling, mood and tone of the project. This meeting, above all else, determines if your project is optioned. These people will ask you for a rewrite. They will give you suggestions (called “notes”) on things to change, things they didnt like and things that most everybody else in the target demographic wont respond to. DO NOT GET OFFENDED. It happens to everyone and if it doesnt, dont expect to hear back from this company, they arent interested. The prospects of having the project continue with this company all but hinges on the writing you respond with in this next draft. If the quality of the rewriting is up to snuff and every note they have given you has been addressed, more than likely you will be optioned.

Congrats, youve been optioned. Now the real work begins…

These are the opinions of an Entertainment Professional that wishes to remain anonymous.

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K.C. Murdock

Executive Producer

Those 3 Words don’t exist in a Zombie Apocalypse

KC Murdock — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 00:24:14 +0000

Hi…I need a hug. My name is Carl. I just had to shoot my dead mother in the face and help cut her open to deliver my sister….not a zombie so far.

Really Rick? That’s the best you’ve got? In these overly dramatic dead days….. All you can say to your son is “Take care of them.” WTF?

Where is the love? Where is the humanity?

One of the things I argue, with my friends about The Walking Dead, is that they are missing the human story in this show. They complain about too much dialogue or not enough Walker violence. I look for the survival story and the line that might be crossed between staying a sane human verses becoming a heartless killing machine. It’s a fine line in a world of Walkers.

So where is the love? I would think that in an Apocalyptic Society you would relish every chance to tell your loved ones, still alive and not a walking corpse, that you love them. No yelling when that could be your last conversation, but I’m not Rick.

Hey, kid sorry you shot yer ma! …..well that just doesn’t cut it. Rick and Lori talked a good game about preserving humanity for their children, but somewhere they dropped the severed bleeding head. They do have a lot on their brains. Lori is a Walker Lunchables and Rick has a short leash on his sanity….very short leash. Carl may be the only hope for this family.

No I did not expect to say that either. I was fully part of the “Lori and Carl must Die!” band wagon too. Now…….Chandler Riggs owns that show!

I love you, Carl. Tough kid. Now go kick some Walker Butt!

K.C. Murdock

Executive Producer

I was fortunate to work with Chandler Riggs, Anthony Guajardo, and Britt Griffith at Wizard World Austin 2011 (video above) and am proud of the growth that Chandler has gone through as a character on The Walking Dead. He has a very nice family and Down the Road Show wishes him the best in his career.
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Steve Sabol 1942 – 2012

Lemzilla — Tue, 18 Sep 2012 22:36:43 +0000

It is rare in life that greatness flows smoothly down bloodlines from one generation to the next. But in the Sabol family, it can be said that a father’s passion and genius was well and truly instilled and in some ways surpassed by his son. Steve Sabol died Tuesday, September 18 at the age of 69 from brain cancer. The son of Ed Sabol, they co-founded NFL Films, which revolutionized the way football, sports and almost every other live event known to humanity is documented. It is sadly ironic that after campaigning tirelessly for Ed’s long overdue enshrinement in the Football Hall of Fame, one month after Ed’s induction in February of 2011 Steve would be diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor.

NFL Films has won more than 100 Emmy’s and Steve Sabol is responsible for more than 30 of them with writer, producer and director credits among them. He also wrote “The Autumn Wind“, and that coupled with slow-motion footage of the Oakland Raiders, Sam Spence’s cinematic score and read with the commanding baritone of John Facenda is quintessential NFL Films. Football gloriously shot from angles (“Tight on the spiral“) fans had no way of seeing, signature music and narrated by what you would almost swear God sounds like. Steve was Ed’s partner up until Dad retired from day to day operations in 1995. Steve has been the face of NFL Films ever since.

Back in the Stone Age before sports was a 24 hour cycle, the weekly NFL Films packages were the only way to know anything about pro football. It’s why I know Bears, Packers and Giants history as well or better than some of the newer fans. NFL Films made that information indelible with the artistry and poetry they applied to presenting pro football. Steve Sabol was a driving creative force for one of the most recognized film brands in the world for over 50 years. We will probably always view our live entertainment through the looking glass that Steve helped create. He will be greatly missed. Steve Sabol is survived by his wife Penny and son Casey, sister Blair and his parents, Ed and Audry Sabol.

Lem Utu

Associate Producer

Follow Lem Utu on Twitter @Lemzilla

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Michael Clarke Duncan 1957 – 2012

Lemzilla — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 17:22:00 +0000

Michael Clarke Duncan burst on to the movie scene with his Academy Award nominated performance as John Coffey in “The Green Mile“. Steven King could not have created a better personification of John Coffey than Michael Clarke Duncan. He was the perfect blend of innocence and massive humanity the story called for. Michael Clarke Duncan died yesterday, from complications of a heart attack he suffered July 13 of this year. Someone has huge shoes to fill as Hollywood’s next go-to Big Guy with a Heart of Gold. In addition to his enormous (6′ 5″ 300lbs) frame, MCD had a distinctive James Earl Jones tinged voice that was also in high demand for animated work. Credits from “Kung-Fu Panda“, “Spiderman” and “King of the Hill” testify to this.

Bringing the Kingpin to life in an otherwise sad “Daredevil” movie and angry General Attar in 2001′s “Planet of the Apes” were rare examples of MCD playing outright villains. Mostly he was utilized as the Gentle Giant and Comedy Relief. One of my favorite MCD turns came in “The Whole Nine Yards“. Frankie Figs was a pleasant revelation as MCD ranged from contract killer to over-sensitive human being easily to wonderful comic effect. As a large man myself (6′ 6″ 330) I can tell you a sense of humor is vital in order to keep from killing smaller human being sometimes. You have to have a thick skin when a lot of people assume you’re stupid because you happen to be twice their size.

MCD was clearly an intelligent and sensitive person. He conducted interviews, whether staged or being jumped by TMZ at the airport, as a man incredibly comfortable in his humongous skin. You’d get an eyeroll for asking obvious questions about his size but it would be patiently answered, as a parent would a child and he’d move them past it and back to the project he was promoting. I absolutely related to MCD in these instances. You get a lot of silly questions if you’re a Big Guy that really leave you shaking your head at humanity some times. I feel a little bad that I reviewed his last TV project so poorly. But I never said anything bad about him, mostly because there was nothing bad to say about him.

Testimonials from co-stars and friends all point to a decent and generous person who will be greatly missed by all. I know as a fan, there is no one in the Hollywood bullpen ready to take the mound and be the next Michael Clarke Duncan. Kevin Nash is probably the most logical choice and he is another underrated talent wrapped up in a very large person. But with his booming voice, imposing muscularity and sensitive demeanor, Michael Clarke Duncan stamped a mark on Hollywood and the entertainment industry that will be difficult if not impossible to match. Rest in Peace, Big Guy. You will be missed.

Lem Utu

Associate Producer

follow Lem Utu on Twitter @Lemzilla

Neil Armstrong: 1930 – 2012

Lemzilla — Sun, 26 Aug 2012 05:40:38 +0000

Neil Armstrong: First man to walk on the Moon. On. The. Moon. July 20, 1969. It’s my sister’s sixth birthday and also when Apollo 11 arrived in the Moon’s orbit. The vehicle that would ferry Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin to the surface was called the LEM (Lunar Excursion Module) and if you didn’t know that, my 8 year-old self would tell you. Incessantly, if I remember. We’re watching live grainy footage on a 19″ black and white TV as world history is being made and my sister is being pretty much upstaged for the rest of the day. We still had cake but I always brought it back around to “who landed on the Moon before Neil Armstrong? LEM did!” Annoying right?

Most of us are carrying 1000 times more computing power in our smartphones than Apollo 11 used to transport it’s three man (Michael Collins maintained lunar orbit in the Command Module) crew to the Moon. The computers on board Apollo 11 would barely power a child’s toy today. 44 years after Armstrong stepped off the LEM (sorry) onto Lunar soil and uttered this iconic line, we’ve kind of taken the event for granted. The recent triumph of Curiosity landing on Mars should give everyone pause to re-examine the enormous danger and complexity of the Apollo 11 mission. To say nothing of it’s world-wide significance. We had done the hard thing that JFK had set for us to do back in 1960. To the Moon in 10 years and NASA pulled it off with a few months to spare.

The first human on the Moon was American and Neil Armstrong looked and sounded straight out of Central Casting. Handsome, humble and supremely competent, Armstrong was perfect for the role of the First. The “I Walked on the Moon” club has only 12 members but outside of Aldrin, the general public is hard pressed to remember the other 11. Neil Armstrong’s place in history is secure not only for his gigantic achievement but also the class and dignity he comported himself with his whole life after. He would only reluctantly re-emerge on the significant anniversaries when network news crews would routinely seek him out.

The legend of Neil Armstrong pales in comparison to the truth of Neil Armstrong. He represented the best of human endeavors when he set his foot down on lunar soil. In less than a century of powered flight, humans had left the Earth and touched the Moon. It really was “one giant leap for mankind.” Rest in peace, good sir.

Lem Utu

Associate Producer

follow Lem Utu on Twitter @Lemzilla

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Phyllis Diller: 1917 – 2012

Lemzilla — Tue, 21 Aug 2012 08:09:40 +0000

That laugh. That sharp, stabbing staccato cackle that Phyllis Diller insists was never an affectation is what I think of first. She was 95 years-old when she died on Monday, August 20, 2012. There is an extensive library of that laugh on record but knowing that’s all we have left is a barely comforting thought. My first memories of Phyllis are watching her with my grandparents and thinking she was old then.

In the mid-60′s when I saw her first she was in her late 40′s and there was no one like her and she and Bob Hope were inseparable in my young mind. And Bob was on a lot when I was growing up. A Bob Hope Special was Must See TV before there was such a thing. And Phyllis was always there usually with a crushing punchline. They worked that act almost right up until Hope’s death in 2003. She thrived with Hope and had a lifelong admiration for him.

But Phyllis Diller was far from just Bob Hope’s female mascot. She was an established TV presence in the 1950′s when most women were, well, not establishing a presence on TV. Her “one of the guys” persona in the Hope specials conveyed her special dispensation to look how she chose and not be judged by it. She was self-deprecating and highlighting flaws for effect before anyone else could. And making money off of it, so who laughed last there? She was early adopter of plastic surgery for cosmetic reasons which is also why some women half her age, now look her age unfortunately.

She was also an excellent pianist and owned a custom-made harpsichord and shows off both in fine form here with Liberace, probably the only man that ever owned more feather boas than she did. Phyllis Diller was an American Original. There wasn’t a Phyllis Diller before her and there have only been homages and pale imitations while she was here. But there’s never going to be another Phyllis Diller. She provided a lifetime’s worth of laughter for four generations of my family. There aren’t enough words that can possibly express enough gratitude for that. So, I’ll simply say “Thank you, Phyllis. Thank you so much.”

Lem Utu

Associate Producer

follow Lem Utu on Twitter @Lemzilla

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